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The X-Men’s Greatest Beards

The X-Men’s Greatest Beards

The X-Men’s Greatest Beards

Dark Phoenix, the latest (and possibly last) entry in the cinematic X-Men saga, is set to hit theaters this week. Believe it or not, there have been 12 X-Men movies across nearly two decades leading up to this point, and a whole host of actors have portrayed the X-Men and their foes over the years. Naturally, they’ve sported a wide variety of facial hair styles while battling for mutant supremacy. As this chapter of the X-Men legacy comes to a close, let’s take a look back at the super-powered scruff the defined both heroes and villains.

Wolverine

It’s impossible to talk about X-Men and awesome facial hair without mentioning Wolverine. There’s not a mutant in the Marvel universe who couldn’t spot his epic sideburns from a mile away. Wolverine took an outlandish facial hair style—mutant muttonchops—and transformed it into a look that is the envy of guys everywhere. It’s an unruly yet carefully shaped look, the kind that can only be tamed with a healthy application of our classic Hair Pomade. When you see those bushy ’burns rushing towards you, you know you’re in for a hell of a fight… bub.

Beard X-Factor: 5 (out of 5)


Iceman

Bobby Drake seemed to think his icy looks were too cool for facial hair in his early days. The first few films in the X-Men series portrayed Bobby as a baby-faced teen. But all of that changed with X-Men: Days of Future Past. We’re not sure why Bobby decided to wait until the world had become doomed by giant murder robots to upgrade his style, but better late than never! Iceman battled the evil Sentinels with a full-on boxed beard. Maybe he just needed some of our Growth Vitamins to help get his beard past the early stages. There’s no doubt scruffy Bobby is the way to go.

Beard X-Factor: 3


Sabretooth

X-Men fans know that Wolverine and Sabretooth have been at each other’s throats for years and years. Sabretooth can’t stand being considered a lesser Wolverine, so he does his best to try and prove why he’s the superior mutant. Unfortunately for Sabretooth, he always comes up short. Case in point? Sabretooth’s facial hair. He wears the exact same style as Wolverine, except his version isn’t nearly as flowing or ferocious. Sorry Sabretooth, but Wolverine’s the best at what he does… and what he does is grow mighty sideburns. Maybe Sabretooth just needs some of our nourishing Beard Growth Spray to help catch up.

Beard X-Factor: 3


Beast

Hank “Beast” McCoy is another character from the X-Men film franchise who has been portrayed by multiple actors. These days, you’ll find Nicholas Hoult playing the role. We have to say, Hoult’s performance as Beast is top-notch in the facial hair department. Beast’s style seems to be a chinstrap gone wild—it’s as furry and furious a mess as the Beast himself. The unkempt look is absolutely perfect for the type of animal Beast is deep inside. Not that we’d want to crimp his style, but we might recommend he invest in one of our boar-bristle Beard Brushes for those days when he wants to tame his look.

Beard X-Factor: 5


Bishop

When it comes to hair, Bishop’s entire look is on-point. You can tell he’s not a guy you want to mess with—he gives off a seriously dangerous vibe. He wears a fierce collection of dreadlocks backed by a perfectly groomed beard, complete with a slight fade on either side. Since one of Bishop’s abilities allows him to always know the present location, date, and time, guessing finding the right moment to trim up is easy. And the right tool—our Stainless Steel Scissors are perfect for shaping your beard, and they’ll last for years… just the kind of thing for a mutant time-traveler.

Beard X-Factor: 4


Professor X

Out of all the characters in the X-Men films, Charles Xavier has seen the most changes to his facial hair. In his early days, he sported a light beard, then transitioned to a mustache. He was clean-shaven for quite a while as well, and then transitioned to a short boxed beard. It took Charles a long time to fully embrace a proper beard, but it certainly had him looking sophisticated in his twilight years.

Beard X-Factor: 3


Bolivar Trask

The one non-mutant character on this list, Bolivar Trask was a well-meaning man who hoped to protect humanity from what he saw as the danger represented by the growing power and influence of mutants. Unfortunately, in the process, he doomed all life on earth by unleashing the marauding Sentinel robots, who went a little overboard in their mission of protecting mankind. But whatever criticisms you might direct toward Trask’s methods, you can’t fault his facial hair. A man of the ’70s, Trask rocked a ’stache that perfectly matched the shaggy hair and extra-wide lapels of the era—a look that simply begs to be groomed with our amazing Sandalwood Mustache Comb.

Beard X-Factor: 3


Azazel

A minor villain under the employ of nefarious mutant mastermind Sebastian Shaw, Azazel is basically the wicked version of heroic X-Man Nightcrawler. He has the ability to warp and teleport through space at will, and his secondary ability seems to be growing a cruel-looking goatee. Although it’s a modest beard, it perfectly completes Azazel’s satanic look. We can’t imagine a better facial hair style for him. One look at this guy and you know he’s trouble. That red skin seems a little irritated, though. Clearly, he doesn’t know about the soothing, refreshing abilities of the Beard Club’s Sandalwood Balm—not only does it ease the itching that sometimes accompanies beard growth, it nourishes the underlying skin, too!

Beard X-Factor: 4


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