How to Approach a Woman at a Bar

How to Approach a Woman at a Bar

Time seemingly stands still when she walks into the bar. The once important conversation you were having with friends becomes little more than white noise. Your mind begins racing as fast as your heartbeat.

Did she just look at me and smile? Is there something in my teeth? Do I buy her a drink? What do I say if it turns out she’s meeting her boyfriend or husband here? Is that polar bear line really effective, or were my friends just messing with me when they suggested I use it.

If you are among the bold and the bearded, those questions will likely fade relatively quickly, as the woman in question will likely feel the magnetic attraction of your mane and approach you. Even so, it is quite possible that she didn’t notice your bad, beard-rocking self at the bar as she entered.

It is all in the Approach

So, how do you approach her in a manner that doesn’t get the contents of a drink flung at your face?

There’s not a single method that works with every single woman you may encounter, contrary to what you might hear from “pick-up artists.” But there are a few, easy to follow, ground rules that should make the approach a smooth one.

Assessing the situation around you, and the woman you’d like to approach, is critical. First and foremost you need to assess yourself.

Check Yourself

If you snuck out of work early, and are on beer five when she arrives for a post-work, Happy Hour drink; it is best to just stop right here. No matter how smooth you think you sound, or how many beers you think you can put down before becoming too drunk, or how amazing you think you dance after a few —  just stop.

No one wants to be approached by an inebriated individual, especially not before they’ve even had a single drink.  If the tables are turned, and she is the inebriated one, the same rule applies.

Now that you’ve assessed where you’re at in your own night, turn your observations to the woman you have obviously already been checking out. Take in the scene a little bit.

Assess The Situation

Is she there with a group of girlfriends? Are they encouraging each other to take that tequila shot in between loudly singing whatever song comes on the jukebox? Or, are they quietly enjoying a mixed drink?

If it’s the latter, you should probably not approach and  just respect the fact that they aren’t out to get down, but simply to unwind and have a conversation.

Is she returning your eye contact? Or does she avoid even the appearance of noticing you when you look in her direction?

If it’s the second, she is likely not interested and you should cancel the mission before it starts. And don’t get down on yourself for it, there are a ton of fish in this sea and she probably just prefers a different type of fish.

After this thorough analysis is concluded, you will likely know if the conditions are right. If the waters look warm, if you’re feeling a mutual vibe through eye contact and smiles, then don’t beat around the bush with it.

Don’t Be Shy

Walk right up to the woman in question and keep it simple.

“Hey, I think you’re really beautiful. Could I buy you a drink?”

That’s all it takes.

The only way to minimize the immense awkwardness of an initial meeting like this is to be bold. You can’t church it up. They know why you are walking up to them, so just get to the point quickly.

If successful, and it’s important to reiterate here that if you have a killer mane you will likely be successful, then enjoy taking the time getting to know someone new. Who knows where it could end up?

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