The Marvel Movie Beard Power Rankings

The Marvel Movie Beard Power Rankings

We’re only days away from the premiere of Avengers: Endgame, the culmination of more than a decade of movies set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It all started with Iron Man, and now Disney has a multi-billion dollar juggernaut on its hands.

Through the 21 different movies in the MCU, we’ve come to know and love countless characters. When you take a close look at the roster, it’s hard not to notice the insane amount of fantastic facial hair! As we wait to see how the Avengers wrap things up with the evil Thanos (who really ought to grow a goatee to cover up those weird chin bumps), let’s review the MCU’s most heroic beards.

Iron Man hit theaters all the way back in 2008, with Robert Downey Jr. taking on the role of Tony Stark. It was a role RDJ seemed born to play, as he absolutely nails Stark’s cocky attitude and playboy nature. Robert’s take on Stark’s facial hair goes well with the character’s arrogant tendencies, as it’s a rather unique interpretation of the royale beard. This is an attention-getting look, and Tony is all about attention.

Beard Rating: 4 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Capable of wooing Pepper Potts, no matter how many times Tony screws up

Nick Fury is one of the most badass characters in the entire MCU. He’s not afraid to speak his mind and is more than capable of putting up a fight. He was also the key player in bringing together the Avengers in their first form. No wonder he has such awesome facial hair! Sure, it might be a straightforward circle beard, but it goes perfectly with Fury’s no-nonsense demeanor.

Beard Rating: 4 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Making Samuel L. Jackson look even cooler

Hands-down, Thor has one of the best beards in the entire run of Marvel movies. Much like Thor himself, Thor’s beard has undergone something of a transformation over the years. What started out as a well-defined traditional beard now has a more rugged look to it. The shaggier style is a perfect fit for Thor, as the God of Thunder has loosened up over the years.

Beard Rating: 5 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Somehow not getting singed when Thor calls down lightning strikes

Like father, like son, they always say. Thor’s beard status is undeniable, and all it takes is one look at Odin to know where he got it from. The phrase, “By Odin’s beard!” exists because of how undeniably amazing Odin’s facial hair is! We can only hope our beards look a quarter as good as Odin’s when we hit our twilight years.

Beard Rating: 5 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Perfect for ruling the Nine Realms

Star-Lord’s style is forever stuck in the ’80s, as he was abducted from the Earth back in 1988. His fashion sense, pop culture knowledge, and even facial hair are all throwbacks to a bygone era. Star-Lord rocks an unkempt stache, chin stubble, and some wicked sideburns. While his look is undeniably retro, there’s something oh-so-good about the cheesiness of it all.

Beard Rating: 3 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Making constant ’80s references palatable

It can be hard to notice Yondu’s facial hair at first on account of the bright blue face and massive red mohawk. Move past that and you’ll see some chin and jawline stubble. While we respect Yondu’s choice to grow in some whiskers, we have a hard time believing it’s the facial feature people will most remember about him.

Beard Rating: 1 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Fine-tuned for whistling

Falcon tends to switch up facial hair styles between his movie appearances. He’s been spotted with a pencil-thin anchor beard, as well as a more traditional beard. No matter what style he goes with, Falcon always makes sure to keep his lines clean and his beard well-trimmed. It’s clear Falcon takes his facial hair seriously.

Beard Rating: 4 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Aerodynamic for superior flight

While Bucky might be working for the good guys now, his past is filled with all sorts of torture and dark deeds. The stubble beard Bucky sports matches pretty well with his persona, as it keeps him looking mysterious. His beard can look a bit patchy from time to time, but we’re willing to give the guy a pass. Sleeping in a cryogenic brainwashing tube probably doesn’t leave a lot of time for a morning grooming routine.

Beard Rating: 3 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Always keeps you guessing

For a short while there, Captain America had one of the most glorious beards in all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Cap ended up going rogue from the Avengers for awhile, which he used as an excuse to grow one of the MCU’s manliest beards. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like he’ll be keeping it. The recent trailers for Avengers: Endgame show Captain America going back to his baby-face look, and we couldn’t be more disappointed.

Beard Rating: 5 out of 5 beards…while it lasts

Beard Power: Gives a harsh edge to this squeaky-clean superhero

Doctor Strange seems to have gone to the Tony Stark school of facial hair. While both characters love to play with the circle beard, Doctor Strange tends to stick with one specific look. He favors sharp angles and a pointed fade. It’s the kind of thing you’d expect to see on a magician from the 1920s, which makes sense for Strange’s connection to the Mystic Arts.

Beard Rating: 3 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Fits the ‘Strange’ name almost too well

King T’Challa keeps busy protecting Wakanda as the Black Panther, but he clearly still has some time to take care of his facial hair. You never see him without an immaculately groomed beard. Sharp lines and the perfect length, T’Challa knows you have to keep your facial hair at the top of its game to be a well-respected King.

Beard Rating: 4 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Never gets caught in his Black Panther mask

Killmonger’s sense of style is wicked, just like the man himself. His keen eye for sharps looks is definitely on display with his facial hair, as he wears a balbo—a standard mustache with a bushier chin strap. It’s not a look all guys can pull off, but Killmonger absolutely does. But really, even if he had horrendous facial hair, would you be brave or stupid enough to tell him?

Beard Rating: 4 out of 5 beards

Beard Power: Designed for evil chin stroking

Comments

  • JamesDaBear
    REPLY

    How did Volstagg not make the cut? Maybe a little shout out to Jon Bernthal’s Punisher would have been nice as well.

    April 24, 2019

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